Cookie scaring the neighbours


I've heard on here some of you hoomans saying that the heffalump is lovely....coote....I've even heard her called sweet. All I can say is that you need to take reality pill and wash it down wiv a cup of wakeupsucker juice. Believe me there in nuffin sweet about the hairy bouncing gunk emitting hippo that I am forced to share me life wiv. Yesterday on our walk there was a very big Choccylate flavoured labbydoor in the distance walking towards us wiv it's mum and dad....as soon as it spotted Cookie it tried to hide behind it's hoomans. I know the reason for this cos when I see another doglet I just keep trotting forwards but not heffers. No she suddenly becomes about four times bigger....it's like she's walking on tip toes...her tail comes over her back and whips her own ears cos it's over so far and going so fast. Then she starts drooling like somebody is about to give her a plate of lamb chops.....the drool gets longer and longer until she flicks it all around her own face and so by the time she reaches the poor doglet you're expecting her to say....'you'll be nice with some fava beans and washed down with a fine chianti......fafafafafa'. Is it really any wonder this poor chap had the look of fear that I've only ever seen on dad's face after checking his bank after mum's been shopping. After me slobbersista had coated everyone in doofyjuice we left but I could still see him as he walked away nervously checking she wasn't coming back.....Unfortunately my Choccylate fwend....she always does....



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