The Newftivity


For those that are unfamiliar with Monty Dogge he is a Newfoundland who lives in Wigan (wigwam) with his hoomans, sister Cookie (the heffalump) another Newfoundland. He also share his home and life with a trio of Cockeyed Spangles - Bailey, Poppy and Molly.

The Newftivity

Twas the night before Cwissymouse but you've heard that before Though this is a story that's familiar I'm sure It's explaining a journey to follow a star But instead of a donkey we went in the car

It all started one night while dad was on Twitter The celebs weren't responding, with dad getting bitter We all know what he's like he's a little bit loopy And if the truth's known he's a celebrity groupie

So it's Christmas Eve and dad is still trying But his tweets like his jokes are choking and dying Then all of a sudden he screams really loud And stares at the screen looking really quite proud

Ricky Gervais has replied to a tweet says me dad I didn't know who he meant but he seems really glad He's somebody dad always wanted to meet I can tell he's excited he's out of his seat

Dad said that he was touring and not far away The Midlands was beckoning, he was going today Mum said it is late now don't go there alone Take Monty and Cookie and don't forget your phone

So we left on a dark frosty evening from Wigwam And followed a star to a town called Birmingham You are probably thinking it's a story that's old But stay with me cos this one has never been told

As we travelled through the night it started to snow It got heavier and heavier the journey now slow If we were going to make it we would need some luck But looking how the road was, more likely we'll get stuck

Eventually at midnight dad could drive no more We'd skidded off the road we were stranded for sure Another road trip with dad had turned into a joke Instead of meeting Ricky we'd be stuck here in Stoke

Dad said if we stay put he'll find us a room We settled in the car he said he'd be back soon When he came back later he said he'd looked and looked But all the hotels in the town were already fully booked

Eventually he'd found a hooman who felt sorry for our plight He said he knew a place nearby where we could spend the night It wasn't a hotel but he ran a stationary shop And it was shelter from the storm and was ok for us to stop

We went to the shop and it was cosy enough But food was a problem and that would be rough Dad had a look round but all he could see Was an old loaf of bread and a pack of Dairylea

The Heffalump was starving I was a bit peckish too I knew that a pack of cheese triangles just wouldn't do By the time I turned around Cookie had eaten them all Dad was distracted cos he was giving mum a call

Mum wasn't in but Bailey was there Dad left her a message but it wasn't too clear The signal was bad and he isn't the sharpest Relaying the message would be a hooge spangle test

Dad said we were fine and what had happened so far Bunked down in a shop cos he skidded the car The hotels were full Cookie ate all the cheese But a kindly store manager had given us his keys

He had all the details and wrote it all down But when mum read the note back it gave her a frown She posted it on farcebook and how things can spiral In a matter of hours dad's message went viral

It read that Me and Cookie had followed a star But had needed to shelter when dad skidded the car The inns were all full and the weather might freeze us We sheltered in a Staples and Cookie had baby cheeses

The whole world believed that this must be a sign We had created a miracle wivout even trying That night we had visits and gifts brought to us From all round the country they came in by bus

Three shepherds all German tried dead hard to kneel Then some wise men turned up from the uni at Keele Even Ricky Gervais turned up out of the blue He had to see for himself that the story was true

So that is the story of our Christmas Eve And how we helped the whole world to believe Mini hoomans will hear as they sit round the tree The story of cheeses the newftivity

When I woke in the morning I was back in me bed I realised it was summat I'd dreamt in me head I looked over at the Heffalump and she looked back at me With a glint in her eye and an unopened Dairylea...........


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