It can be dangerous this jogging stuff -Jan 8th 2019

Yesterday mum decided she’d give me a groom. Dad has been spending a lot of time with the heffalump so she thought it would be ‘nice’ for me.....I know hooman are strange ain’t they? Anyway in the end she decided the best place was the front garden so the hairy hippo wouldn’t get all giddy.

She wanted to cut around my neck so took me collar off....uh oh schoolgirl error....you’ve seen it right? To have some control though she thought she’d put me headcollar on but before she was finished our neighbour had the idea to start jogging for the new year and ran right past our fence.....Well at this point I didn’t know who it was......It could have been a burglier coming to steal me fish treats.....it could have been the first of a group of zombies coming to eat our brains.....well apart from dad and Bailey of course.....it could have even been the postyman in the plain clothies.

Well I had to do summat so I did me scary Newfydoof guard dog impercynation and ran at the fence.....,Well mum didn’t have much choice but to come as well and we both ended up wrapped around the cherry tree.....Oops.....the neighbour just smiled and carried on but mum wasn’t the happiest I’ve ever seen her......To make it slightly worse the neighbour was also out the other side as well and saw it all.....

He had a grin on his face as he asked mum if she was alright.....He said he thought we were both going over the fence.....’So did I’ said mum.....’So did I’