The Night before Cwissymouse – Christmas 2015

This was our first ‘cwissymouse poem’ from 2015. It was written for some festive fun on our Facebook blog page but it actually became our first charity poem and raised funds for several animal rescue organisations. It also became the basis for our Christmas book Monty and Friends save Christmas.

Twas the night before Cwissymouse in a town called Wigwam

Cobble streets had fell silent with not even a tram

The pie shops were closed and bargain booze too

Hoomans were in bed there was nowt else to do

Our house was all quiet apart from dad snoring

Dreaming of presents he’d get in the morning

Could it be a sports car or a hooge new TV?

Though more likely be socks left for him by the tree

The spangles were off in a world of their own

Where Bailey occasionally shared the stag bones

Where the fat man in red brought them nice things to eat

Maybe Horse and Fox poo as a Cwissymouse day treat

Mini hoomans were asleep under threat of no toys

If they woke in the night even if they heard noise

So peace and tranquillity was all through the house

But the creature to stir first wasn't a mouse

For out in the garden there arose such a clatter

So I jumped from my bed to see what was the matter

Cookie had managed to open the door

And was battering Santa with a hooge hairy paw

She thought it was dad all dressed up just for fun

But Santa was frit and the reindeers had run

He stood there dishevelled in his red and white clobber

With paw prints and holes in and covered in slobber

Rudolph and friends had immediately fled

The sight of the Heffalump filled them with dread

But the night was not over there was work left to do

And the sled needed pulling.....it needed a crew.

The whole world was waiting for Santa's arrival

Someone needed to help with the big day's survival

It needed to happen quick that was for sure

So I took two steps forward and held up my paw.

I'll do, I said me and my team

We'll deliver the presents it's a newfydoofs dream

But pulling is one thing and flying’s another

We may need some help there's some ground there to cover

Santa just smiled and said I can help

He pulled out his mobile and dialled an elf

We need magic dust delivered NOW to Wigwam

Monty is getting us out of a jam....

So the dust it arrived and we waited to go

And just at that point it started to snow

Two newfydoofs, three spangles and Santa all ready

We started to rise so I called out KEEP STEADY

Up and up we just kept on

And very soon the ground had gone

Then when we were high Santa started to call

Dash away dash away dash away all

We flew through the night it was really good fun

But that sled and the fat bloke weighed more than a ton

We needed more help so to Windsor we flew

And added our friend Gus to our odd little crew

That was much better and we worked through the night

From country to country until it got light

Delivering pressies and spreading much joy

So those good mini hoomans awoke to their toys

At last it was morning and the job was complete

We could all go back home and get something to eat

Gussy boy left and we all said goodbye

And headed back home through the lightening sky

When we got back Santa got us together

And said what we'd done was so kind and so clever

We'd saved Cwissymouse day we'd have legendary status

The north pole would have a hooge plaque there of us

With that he was gone where he went wasn't clear

But we think he went looking for his missing reindeer

We all wandered over and crept back into the house

And that was the tale of how we saved Cwissymouse

A little while later I awoke to see dad

He said we were worried, are you ok old lad?

I'd been making some noises he thought in my sleep

I'll let him believe that and our secret I'll keep.......